More than a hand

When I was little I remember being in a store and a man asking me how old I was.  I held up five fingers; a whole hand.  He then replied with "Well, I bet you are excited for your birthday... because then you will be more than a hand... you will be onto your second hand."

  It was a moment that I remember.  Funny what things we store in our heads.  I remember looking at my fingers and thinking that I was excited to be older.  Now I think... I would love to be five again some days.

My little Hudson is turning 6 today.  

He is a sweet thing, although at times I think he may be the end of me.  Seriously.

He is a tender soul.  A good good boy by nature. He cares for others and is interested in ALL things.  He wants to know how things work, how to read, how to whistle, how to cook etc. etc.

He is just a sponge that soaks up more than I realize.  

He starts kindergarten in less than two weeks and I am a little nervous.  I think I am nervous because he is such a tender boy that I hope others do not bully him.  And then there is the flip that I hope that he isn't influenced to do bad to please others.  Not that he is a "follower", but he wants friends badly.

When we moved to our home a year a go I thought it was going to be GREAT for Hudson.  And it has been in many ways... it just has been difficult in other ways that I never thought of.  Mainly in the friend arena.  The transition to an area where he isn't the "oldest" of the kids with my friends has been hard; as well as all of the kids "his age" are already in school... so that puts a damper on play dates.  

But, I do believe that school is going to be a great adventure for him and us.  I can't wait to see him blossom in the next year; but it pulls at my heart to think that now is the time that "time" will fly.  My mother has told me that once your child hits school the rest is somewhat of a blur.  And ya know what I think she may be right.  

I will sit and watch Hudson.  When he thinks no one is looking and I will watch him play, build, draw or make himself a small treat and it amazes me how much a child learns by watching.  By watching us in our everyday movements.  It makes me realize how much better I need to be.  How much more I need to consider being an example in EVERYWAY for him, R and G.  This is my job.  This is my blessing.  

Anyway - I have gone on a tangent.  Back to Hudson and the beginning of his 6th year.

I love him.  I love his ability to melt my heart.  To make me think, and remember.  I love his sweetness with Grey and how he loves him.  He favorite place to kiss Grey is the back of Greys neck.  He says it is the softest part of Grey.  He may be right.  I love and hate his bossiness.  I have to remind myself that it is a step in the direction of being assertive, and a leader in a way.  Right?!  

I love how he gets up every morning dressed and ready to go.  I love his modesty.  His fascination with mother nature and the destruction it may bring.  I love his ability to make worlds/lands in his room with all of his toys.  I love that he draws and is more intricate with his drawings and detailed than I have ever noticed a boy being at his age.  I love that he loves to read with me, that he loves to be with me and our family.  I love his willingness to help and work.  Always.  His eagerness to be outside playing really any sport.  I love that he loves his grandparents.  More than he loves us... ha.  That he always wants to be around them and asks for them.  I love that his prayers are longer and more thought out than mine.  Sad but true.  That he still gives me kisses on demand and smirks after.  He is still my buddy, I hope that never ever changes.

*Today while I was dropping the kids off in the kids club at the gym I noticed Hudson had hurried himself over to the "big kids - kids club" to play a little wii with the other boys.  Once I got R and G in their area I turned around and got his attention through the window.  I smiled and waved and blew him a kiss.  He waved back but when I blew the kiss he kind of looked at me like he didn't know wether to blow a kiss back or to be embarrassed.  He choose to give me a half smile and a shake of the head, like "mom... nooooo, not here!!?!"  When he completely denied the blown kiss I started to laugh.  And then I realized the days of mushiness around other kids was gone.  I got really sad but was able to understand... I guess he really is getting older.  I just had hoped he would always want a kiss blown his way by me... but I think I may have been in la la land.  Oh well.